Michael's Musings

February 8, 2011

Global Warming
Printed in The Washington Post November 2nd
 
The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consulafft, at Bergen, Norway.

Reports from fishermen, seal hunters, and explorers all point to a radical change in climate conditions and hitherto unheard of temperatures in the Arctic zone.

Exploration expeditions report that scarcely any ice has been met as far north as 81 degrees 29 minutes. Soundings to a depth of 3,100 meters showed the Gulf Stream still very warm.

Great masses of ice have been replaced by moraines of earth and stones, the report continued, while at many points well known glaciers have entirely disappeared.
 
Very few seals and no white fish are found in the eastern Arctic, while vast shoals of herring and smelts which have never before ventured so far north, are being encountered in the old seal fishing grounds.

Within a few years it is predicted that due to the ice melt the sea will rise and make most coastal cities uninhabitable.

Oops!
 
I apologize; I neglected to mention that this report was from November 2, 1922 as reported by the AP and published in THE WASHINGTON POST -- 89 YEARS AGO.

You have a creative day.

Michael

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February 7, 2011

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.  He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer from New York and is certain that he has a better education then any cop from Houston, TX.

The NY Lawyer decides to prove this to himself and have some fun at the Texas  deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop," says the deputy.  "License and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to complete stop, that's the law.  License and registration, please!" the Deputy repeats.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and  stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you give me the ticket.  If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."

"That sounds fair.  Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick, starts beating the shit out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to stop, or just slow down?"

You have a creative day.

Michael

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February 4, 2011

I was informed yesterday morning that, due to some late-breaking news, the feature article about me that was to appear in the Austin American-Statesman today has now been postponed one week.  It will now run on Friday, February 11th.

Actually, that's probably a good thing.  It's supposed to snow today, which means that many people will not be going out to buy newspapers and, since this is Super Bowl Weekend, I imagine that most folks' minds will be on that game.

Now, here's an announcement that was sent to me:

To those currently demonstrating in Egypt:

Please take care not damage the pyramids.

The warranty has expired. 

We are not available to rebuild.

The Jews

You have a creative weekend, and I'll be back on Monday.

Michael

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