Michael's Musings

July 25, 2011

This is unbelievable...but true:

Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing "the absolute worst use of lifelines ever".

After being introduced to the show's host Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question. The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'

A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?

Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not readily know the answer. "Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie," said Evans, as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.  "I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before, but I have no idea how large they would be."

Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.

Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was bigger, an elephant or the moon.

However, faced with an incredibly easy question, Evans still remained unsure. "Oh!  It removed the two I was leaning towards!" exclaimed Evans. "Darn. I think I better phone a friend."

Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend Betsy, who is an office assistant. "Hi, Betsy!  How are you?  This is Kathy!  I'm on TV!" said Evans, wasting the first seven seconds of her call. "Okay, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?  B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun."

Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.

Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds. "Betsy, are you sure?"said Evans. "How sure are you?  Duh, that can't be it."

To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's advice. "I just don't know if I can trust Betsy.  She's not all that bright.  So I think I'd like to ask the audience," said Evans.

Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of answer C, "The Moon."

Having used up all her lifelines, Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life. "Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking," said the too-stupid-to-live Evans. "But you know, sometimes you just got to go with your gut.  So, let's see. I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer."

Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, "The Moon."

THEY WALK AMONG US!

You have a creative day.

Michael

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July 22, 2011

Not much going on today, so here's a joke for your weekend amusement:

A Jewish lady is sitting at home  when the phone rings.

"Hello" she says.

"Hello" says the male voice at the other end.  "I'll bet you'd really like it if I came round, ripped off your skirt and blouse and bra and panties, then threw you to the floor and made hot, sweaty love to you."

"The Jewish lady replies, "From 'hello' you can tell all this?"

You have a creative weekend, and I'll be back with you on Monday.

Michael

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July 21, 2011

In case you haven't noticed, I've done a little minor updating to the website.

Not only is there now the link for you to purchase DRACULA MEETS JACK THE RIPPER And Other Revisionist Histories ($14.95+shipping), but I've also put my most recent photo up on all pages.

Yes, that's me with The Maltese Falcon.

If only it was the real one....

There are just a couple of very minor touch-up things still to do, which should be completed by the weekend.

Incidentally, I learned yesterday that the Austin Public Library has suddenly purchased several of my books.  A few months ago, they only had one of my books...and it was a very old title.

But, now they have about a half-dozen of my titles and, on several of them, they have multiple copies.

I should give talks at the library more often.

You have a creative day.

Michael

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