Michael's Musings

July 28, 2011

Here are the last two of this group:

While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces".

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And last, but not least:
 
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding.

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.  He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

THEY WALK AMONG US!

You have a creative day.

Michael

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July 27, 2011

I love these, so here are some more:

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. 

She drove down in a convertible, but said she "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving".

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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.

She keeps it in the car trunk.

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I was going out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.

My friend said, "Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"

I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned.

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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"

THEY WALK AMONG US!

You have a creative day.

Michael

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July 26, 2011

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free to good home. You want it, you take it."

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.  He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.  So he changed the sign to read: "Fridge for sale $50."

The next day someone stole it!

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I stopped at McDonald's and ordered some fries.  The girl behind the counter said "Would you like some fries with that?"

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One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, "Look at that dead bird!"

Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

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While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.

She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"

My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime.

She shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff."

THEY WALK AMONG US!

You have a creative day.

Michael

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