The Jewish Dog : Michael's Musings
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Michael B. Druxman 
Screenwriter, Playwright, Novelist and Hollywood Historian. 

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What took you so long to get here?
Where have you been all my life?
I’ll tell you where I’ve been.  

I’ve been in show business!

Ever since I was a little kid and heard Pinocchio singing, “Hey, diddly-dee, an actor’s life for me,” that’s what I wanted. Well, not to be an actor. 
I got tired of that during my freshman year in college.

So, what to do, what to do. . .

After many years as a Hollywood press agent, I became a writer…movies, stage plays, books.  
Anything that was a challenge.  I love telling stories.

After all, with due respect to actors, directors and other artists, isn’t the only truly creative aspect of the performing arts the written word?     
Everything else is “interpretation”.

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Michael 


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The Jewish Dog

by Michael B. Druxman on 08/10/11

August 11, 2011

I may have posted this one before, but it's still funny.


Morty  visits Dr. Saul, the veterinarian, and says, "My dog has a problem."

Dr. Saul says, "So, tell me about the dog and the problem."

"It's a Jewish dog. His name is Irving and he can talk,"  says Morty.

"He can talk?" the doubting doctor asks.

"Watch this!" Morty points to the dog and commands: "Irving, Fetch!"

Irving, the dog, begins to walk toward the door, then  turns around and says, "So why are you talking to me like that? You always  order me around like I'm nothing.  And you only call me when you want  something.  And then you make me sleep on the floor, with my  arthritis.  You give me this fahkahkta food with all the salt and  fat, and you tell me it's a special diet. It tastes like dreck!  YOU  should eat it yourself!  And do you ever take me for a decent walk?  NO, it's out of the house, a short pish, and right back home.  Maybe  if I could stretch out a little, the sciatica wouldn't kill me so  much!  I should roll over and play dead for real for all you  care!"

Dr. Saul is amazed, "This is remarkable!  So, what's the problem?"

Morty says, "He has a hearing problem!  I said 'Fetch,' not  'Kvetch'."

You have a creative day.

Michael

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