More Jokes

October 27, 2011

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates.  St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer.  You're in the wrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in.  Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements.  After a while, they've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.  We've got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely.  When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.  "Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!" he whined.

"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!" retorted the officer.  "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh my God," replied the lawyer, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex!"