Michael's Musings

March 10, 2011

Linda Moore, the #1 fan of my film, CHEYENNE WARRIOR, sent me the following joke:

A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theater.  When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The man groaned but didn't budge.  The usher became impatient.

"Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."

Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager.  In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police.

The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Sam," the man moaned.

"Where ya from, Sam?"

With pain in his voice Sam replied: "The balcony."

You have a creative day.

Michael

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March 9, 2011

The following joke was just sent to me:

A salesman goes up to a house and knocks on the front door.

It's opened by a little ten year-old boy who has a lit cigar in one hand, a glass of whiskey in the other, and an issue of Hustler tucked under his arm.

Salesman: "Hello, son.  Is your mom or dad home?"  

Little boy: "What the f**k do you think?"
 
That joke reminded me of something that happened last week when wife Sandy and I took my son, David, and his lady friend down to San Antonio.

We were having lunch on the Riverwalk when four ducks decided to give us a "floor show".

That's right!  I said "ducks," the Donald and Daffy kind of ducks.

And, it was a porno floor show.

On the walkway, right under the table where we were eating, these three male ducks "gang raped" the female duck.

It was absolutely shocking!

:-)

You have a creative day.

Michael

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March 8, 2011

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a  small town in Arkansas .
 
With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in  the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting:
 
"I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.  What makes you think you can stereotype women that way?  What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?  It's guys like you who keep women like me from  being respected at work and in the community,  because you and your kind continue to  perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes,  but women in general and all in the name of  humor!"
 
The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister!  I'm talking to that little fella on your knee!!!"

You have a creative day.

Michael

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