Michael's Musings

June 17, 2011

A Woman went to a pet shop and immediately spotted a large, beautiful parrot.  There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.  "Why so little?" she asked the pet store owner.

The owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a house of prostitution, and sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
 
The woman thought about this, but decided she had to have the bird anyway.  She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something.

The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought "that's really not so bad."

When her two teenage daughters returned from school, the bird saw them and said, "New house, new madam, new girls."

The girls and the woman were a bit offended but then began to laugh about the situation considering how and where the parrot had been raised.

Moments later, the woman's husband Keith came home from work.

The bird looked at him and said, "Hi Keith."

You have a creative weekend and I'll be back on Monday.

Michael

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June 16, 2011

Just a reminder that I will be speaking at Austin's Faulk Central Library, 800 Guadalupe, on Saturday (18) at 2 pm, so fly in and come on down.

:-)

Now, here's a joke that my nephew, Pat, sent me:

There was a knock on the door this morning.

I opened it to find a young man standing there who said: "Hello sir, I'm a Jehovah's Witness."

I said "Come in and sit down."

I offered him coffee and asked "What do you want to talk about?"

He said, "Beats the shit out of me.  I've never gotten this far before."

You have a creative day.

Michael

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June 15, 2011

This is very interesting:

Subject: Secret Service Perspectives of the White House

UNLIMITED ACCESS by Gary Aldridge, who was head of the Secret Service White House detachment.

JFK and LBJ = Philanderers of the highest order. Both kept a lot of women in the White House for affairs. Both set up "early warning" systems for if and when their wives were nearby.  Totally immoral men.  In addition, LBJ was as crude as the day is long.

Nixon = Moral man but very odd and weird, paranoid etc.  Horrible relationship with his family, almost a recluse.

Agnew = Nice, decent man.  Everyone was surprised at his downfall.

Ford = A true gentlemen who treated them with respect and dignity.

Carter = A complete phony who would portray one picture of himself to the public and very different in private.  I.E., would be shown carrying his own luggage but suitcases were always empty.  He kept empty ones just for photo ops.  Wanted the people to see him as pious and a non-drinker but he and family drank alcohol a lot.  Had disdain for the Secret Service, and was very irresponsible with the "football" nuclear codes.  Didn't think it was a big deal and would keep military aides at a great distance.  Would never acknowledge military or Secret Service; they were there to serve him.

Ronald Reagan = The real deal. Moral, honest, respectful and dignified. Treated Secret Service and everyone else with respect and honor. Would always thank everyone all the time. He took the time to know everyone on a personal level. One story was early on in presidency: the President came out of his room with a side arm attached to his hip. The agent in charge said "Why the pistol Mr. President." Ronald Reagan replied, "In case you boys can't get the job done, I can help." It was common for him to carry a pistol.  People do not know that when he met with Gorbachev, he had a pistol in his briefcase.  Upon learning that Gary Hart was caught with Donna Rice during the election Ronald Reagan said, "Boys will be boys, but boys will not be President."

Nancy Reagan = Very nice but very protective of the President; the Secret Service was always caught in the middle. Nancy would try to control what the President ate all the time (healthy) and he would say to the agents "Come on, you gotta help me out." The Reagans rarely drank alcohol.  Secret Service said they could count on one hand the times the Reagans were served alcohol other than wine during dinner.   They made the comment for all the fake bluster of the Carters it was the Reagans who lived life as genuinely moral people.

George & Barbara Bush = Extremely kind and considerate.  Always respectful.  Took great care in making sure the agents' comforts were taken care of.  They would bring them meals, etc.  One time Barbara Bush brought warm clothes to agents standing outside in Kennebunkport.  One agent who was given a warm hat tried to nicely say "no thanks" when he was obviously freezing and President Bush said "Son, don't argue with the First Lady; put the hat on."

Bill Clinton = Presidency was one giant party.  Not trustworthy, he was nice because he wanted everyone to like him, but life is just one big game and party to him.

Hillary Clinton = Another phony.  Personality would change the instant cameras were near.  She hated with open disdain the military and Secret Service. Again, another one who felt people are there to serve her.  She was always trying to keep tabs on Bill Clinton.

Al Gore = An egotistical blank who was once over-heard by his Secret Service detail when he told his son he needed to do better in school or he "would end up like these guys" and pointed to the agents.

G. W. Bush = They loved him and Laura Bush. They said no one is a nicer person than Laura Bush, who never has a harsh word to say about anyone.  The Bush's went out of their way to take care of the Secret Service and made sure they were well cared for with meals and other comforts.  GW was the most prompt of the Presidents.  He ran like a well-oiled machine.  He was also the most in shape who had a very strict workout regimen.  The Bush's made sure their entire administration understood to respect and be considerate of the Secret Service.  Karl Rove was the one who was the most caring of the Secret Service in the administration.

Barack Obama = Clintons over again - hates the military and looks down on the Secret Service.

You have a creative day.

Michael

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