Michael's Musings

July 12, 2011

It's not available in bookstores or on Amazon yet, but you can now pre-order my forthcoming book of short (and not so short) stories, DRACULA MEETS JACK THE RIPPER And Other Revisionist Histories directly from the publisher.  It comes off the press in a week or two, and you will be shipped your copy immediately.

Just click on this link, or if that doesn't work, copy the address below into your browser and you'll be taken right there.

http://bearmanorfiction.com/?page_id=125

I'm very proud of this book.  It contains six (6) stories, all completely different, that I know will entertain you.  Aside from Dracula and Jack the Ripper, there are stories dealing with Al Capone, John Dillinger, Napoleon Bonaparte, "Bugsy" Siegel and even Jesse James.

So, please take a look.

Thanks, and have a creative day.

Michael

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July 11, 2011

Here's a joke I was sent:

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson.  It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car.  She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it.  That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William.......the little shit's name is Kevin."

You have a creative day.

Michael

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July 8, 2011

So, the medical procedure on Wednesday went okay.

I was back home by 2:30, then I made the mistake of taking 2 Tylenol PM tablets.  [I didn't read the label.]

At 3, I lay down and slept until 7.  Then, I got up, had a light dinner and was back in bed by 9.  Slept until 7 the next morning.

Was I well rested.

I won't know the results of the procedure until next Thursday.  My fingers are crossed.  Please do the same.

Now, here's a joke I was sent:

A foursome of guys was waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women was hitting from the women's tee.  The ladies were not rushing and were taking their time.

When the final lady was ready to hit her ball, she hacked it ten feet.  Then she went over and whiffed it completely. Then she hacked it another ten feet and finally hacked it another five feet.

She looked up at the patiently waiting men and said apologetically, "I guess all those f***ing lessons I took over the winter didn't help."

One of the men immediately responded, "Well, there you have it. You should have taken golf lessons instead!"

He never even had a chance to duck.  He was only 63.

Golf can sometimes be dangerous.

You have a creative weekend and I'll be back on Monday.

Michael

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