Michael's Musings

May 23, 2011

Well, May 21st has come and gone, and we'll still here.

Of course, that eruption of the volcano in Iceland does make one pause for a moment.

:-)

I have a couple of new reviews posted on the Best Bets on DVD site, accessible via the link in the Introduction section of this page.  The films are THE COMPANY MEN and KILL THE IRISHMAN, and both are quite good...so take a look.

Now, here's something that my cousin, Lewis, sent me:

The Indian With One Testicle

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was "Onestone".

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone."

He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.

Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone.  She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone."

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to
her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why ???
 
Everyone knows...

 
You can't kill Two Birds...with OneStone!!!


You have a creative day.

Michael

Comments (0)     

May 20, 2011

I just posted a review of THE 39 STEPS (1959) on the Best Bets on DVD website, accessible via the link in the Introduction section of this page.

Now, here's a joke I was sent:

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous, so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.

"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he  asked.

"No, I don't," she replied.

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex, and workers of  all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile.  But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" the dentist asked.

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"


You have a creative weekend, and I'll be back on Monday.

Michael

Comments (0)     

May 19, 2011

This was sent to me by a friend:

After being married for 40 years, I took a careful look at my wife one
day and said: "Forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car,
slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to
sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.

Now, I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a
large screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 73-year-old woman. It seems to
me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman.  She told me to go out and find a hot
23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living
in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching
a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great?  They really know how to solve an old guy's
problems.

You have a creative day.

Michael

Comments (0)